i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
