he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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