I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize
