she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
As shirtless as possible
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
