Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Randomize
