i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
