My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
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