So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
