I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
