mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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