We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
