youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
