after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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