this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize