Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize