Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
