my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she pinky promised me she was 18
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
