i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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