he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
