i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
