12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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