Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
