So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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