Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm passing your future prison.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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