And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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