either way he was missing a nipple.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
