I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
