she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
