If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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