Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
