Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Everyone says I win the strip club
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
