The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
