Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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