The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
