Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I believe in your delicious
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
