you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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