nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
