HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
