is your mom at the bar?
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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