No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
