how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
