Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
