What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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