Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize