Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
