Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
