You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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