make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
