i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
