Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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