Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
