I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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