We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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