I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Randomize
