At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
