Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
