u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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